The Impact of Spiritual Direction on My Vocation
Paul Barton
8/4/20244 min read
La Trinidad United Methodist Church, Pharr, Texas
One year after I began full-time ministry at La Trinidad United Methodist Church in Pharr Texas in 1988, I began to discern again God’s call for my life. I had felt called to full-time pastoral ministry in Hispanic/Latino settings for several years. While attending seminary, various professors also encouraged me to consider teaching in a seminary or a university. I perceived two possible paths forward for my vocation-pastoral ministry or teaching ministry. I decided to pray as a way of discerning God’s call at that period in my life.
Lebh Shomea House of Prayer, Sarita Texas
I learned about a Catholic retreat center called Lebh Shomea south of Kingsville, Texas, a few hours from my home. I decided to spend a few days there praying for discernment about my vocation. While there, the director of the center informed me they provided spiritual direction for visitors. This was the first time I had ever heard about spiritual direction. When I met with the director, I felt I was in a safe and welcoming space. He embodied the English translation of Lebh Shomea, which means “listening heart.” That was the first instance in which I learned how spiritual direction could help me become more attuned to God’s will in my life.
I visited the retreat center a few times annually for the next two years. Sister Jean Springer became my regular spiritual director during that time. Through much prayer, and discernment aided by Sister Jean, I decided to apply to a PhD program in religious studies. Sister Jean played a pivotal role in accompanying me in my discernment process during these two years.
Southern Methodist University
During my last year in the PhD program in Religious Studies at Southern Methodist University, I served as the pastor of a church in a full-time capacity while also finishing my dissertation. I already had an invitation to begin a teaching position at a seminary after I finished that one year at the church. Knowing that I needed to finish my dissertation before I began teaching at the seminary while simultaneously serving as a full-time pastor, and providing for my wife and our baby created an inordinate amount of stress. During that time, I visited an Episcopal priest for spiritual direction, not for counseling, but to help keep my relationship with God alive while tending to many different responsibilities. He had a simple green coffee pot with hot coffee available when we met. One time, I commented how I liked his coffee pot and he responded by offereing it to me. I was surprised by his sudden gift of generosity. I used that coffee pot for many years as a way of welcoming visitors to my office.
Agape Memorial United Methodist Church, Dallas
Seminary of the Southwest, Austin
When I began my teaching ministry at Seminary of the Southwest in Austin, Texas, I discovered that sister Jean had also moved to Austin to establish a new retreat center there called Eremos. Sister Jean helped me to discern and claim my authority as a new and young professor at that seminary. Toward the end of my tenure at that seminary, she encouraged me to live gracefully during uncertainty about my future. I had decided to leave the school without having another employment waiting for me. Through the 16 years that I visited with sister Jean sporadically while at Seminary of the Southwest, the spiritual direction she provided helped ground my identity as a Christian minister and professor and as a Hispanic person in a majority-white institution.
Perkins School of Theology
I began visiting a spiritual director five years after beginning a new position at Perkins School of Theology in Dallas. After having been informed in September 2020 that I would be laid off at the end of the school year (May 2021), the primary question became, “Where is God leading me in the next phase of my life?” I brought this question to my spiritual director when I informed him that I would end my tenure at that seminary in nine months. During this long transition period, Brian and I spent time in spoken and silent prayer together, he asked me insightful questions and affirmed and encouraged me as I wondered where I would be in ministry the next year.
Looking back at these various instances of spiritual direction with persons of different gender, faith traditions, and backgrounds, I found common characteristics among them. Each spiritual director welcomed and affirmed me as a precious child of God. Each listened actively and carefully for what was spoken and for what was not spoken, both by me and by God. Each helped me identify and claim the gifts that God had given me and discern where and how I should use those gifts. When I met with my spiritual directors, I always felt as if I was entering into God’s holy presence.
One of the answers to the question “Where is God leading me in the next phase of my life” was answered through spiritual direction. I felt called to share my gifts with others through spiritual direction.” The examples of previous spiritual directors provided a template for accompanying others in their life and spiritual journeys.
